The honest question isn't "is my life bad?" It's narrower and harder to dodge: is the gap between the man you appear to be and the man you actually are getting smaller, or wider?
You already trust outside measurement in every serious part of your life. This is the one place you've convinced yourself you don't need it.
Something has shifted in the room with your wife, and you've been watching it happen without knowing exactly what to do about it. It's called respect.
You carry the team, the money, the family, and you call it strength. What if the exhaustion is the bill for a definition of strength that was never strength?