You got there. Whatever the mark was, you hit it. The title, the number, the house, the reputation, the life that looks from the outside like a man who figured it out.
You don't ask for help. You never have. What if the instinct you trust most, the one that built your career, isn't strength but a myth you inherited and never questioned, the exact thing guaranteeing nothing in you actually changes?
The honest question isn't "is my life bad?" It's narrower and harder to dodge: is the gap between the man you appear to be and the man you actually are getting smaller, or wider?
You already trust outside measurement in every serious part of your life. This is the one place you've convinced yourself you don't need it.